My buddy Stick has recently became a Land Baron. Bought his first house after a lifetime of living in apartments. He found a place that suits him perfectly, located betwixt the State Fool Farm, an Indian ('cuse me, Native American) Burial ground and a sweage treatment plant... He's recently discovered the feeling of satisfaction a country boy gets from being able to go outside and take a whizz in your own backyard in the middle of the night. (yes I realize that's a guy thing, my wife doesn't understand it either)

I wouldn't adivse that for those of you fellers living in Suburbia.

Anyhoo, I emailed him the other day t'ask him when he was going to have his house-warming party, so that all of his former co-workers can come trash his house and his reply was so damn funny, I had to share it.

"...I plan to roast a whole hog, slaughtered by my good self. Maybe I should invite the local representative of
PETA..."

I should probably mention that, after reading the aforementioned, that I DARED him to do it.

I want to be there to see it.