Practical Jokes

Now I'll admit I'm a bit of a practical joker, but this is one of the best mean jokes I've ever run across.

The ole' boy we bought the Deutz off of is an Ironworker, since bigger brother is a Millwright, they know a lot of the same people, so I got to listen to a couple of hours worth of tale-telling. The best story I heard had nothing to do with Ironworkers or Millwrights, but with Bobby's son. His son worked at the John Deere place in Scottsboro several years ago and while working there he pulled one of the best "get even" stunts I've ever heard of.

There was a fellow from over in there that had a construction business and he tended to have a lot of free time in the afternoons, so he'd come by the tractor place and aggravate the boys who worked there. One of his most annoying habits was going through everybody's lunchbox and eating the leftovers every time he dropped by. One day he came in and was hoo-rawing the boys and somehow or another came up with an electric cattle prod. I don't think this idiot realized just how much those things hurt when you hit somebody with it. He slipped up behind Bobby's boy and touched him on the leg with that cattle prod. The boy just about jumped out of his skin and drawed back to hit him but caught himself before he did. He was so pissed he just gathered his stuff and left. I can't say that I blame the boy, I'd be pissed too.

Well, he went home and told his daddy what happened and asked how to get him back.. Bobby told his boy he'd study on it and they'd come up with something. A few days passed before he had a thought. An evil, wicked, downright mean thought...

Bobby's wife grows hot peppers. usually jalapenos, but this particular year she'd got a wild hair and planted some habaneros. Bobby had horses at the time, so he was well equipped with large syringes and horse needles. He took some of those habaneros and put 'em in the blender and pureed 'em down to a liquid state. Then he took a big syringe and filled it with that pepper juice and injected it into a Twinkie through the wrapper. He gave it to his boy and told him to put it in his lunchbox and make damn sure that he didn't eat it by mistake.

The next day the fellow came into the John Deere place and started in about being hungry. He hit the lunchboxes and directly he came across that Twinkie. He grabbed it and pulled the wrapper off and took a bite (y'know how with a Twinkie, you don't just take a normal bite, you get about half the Twinkie?) and commenced to chewing. He worked his jaw about three times before it hit him. He turned bright red and then white as the blood drained out of his face. He let out a squall that shook the building and spewed Twinkie all over the floor. He ran for the door and of course, everyone followed to see what he was doing. They found him outside with a waterhose stuck in his mouth going full blast.

For some reason, he stayed out of everybody's lunchbox after that.