Saturday, November 06, 2004

I accomplished very little today other than tightening up the front wheel bearings on the Ferguson. I did have a very bizarre thing happen on the way to the tractor place this morning, which I may write more about later.

I did hear a lot of good stories today, most of which I'm afraid to write about because it's like Waylon Jennings once said, "they's too many people still alive that'd git killed or divorced if I told all I knew."
And boy did I here some good ones today. It's a damn shame I didn't have a tape recorder with me...

Sadly, since my darling bride has discovered my foolishness, she has told everybody and their brother about it, so now I am no longer semi-anonymous like Big Daddy Possum (but I am still semi-annoying) and I find that I have to be even more careful about what I say here.

DR came by late this afternoon and he was wound up. He let loose with so much stuff I couldn't keep track of it, but I was able to file away one little gem that I will try to tell in his own words (or at least a reasonable facsimile thereof).

"Y'remember them little chickens all the store used't have 'round Easter 'ever year? Y'know, the ones what was dyed blue or green or red? Well, most people'd buy 'em for there kids without ever realizing that them cute lil' baby chicks grew up to be big ole ugly white chickens."

"Back when I was a kid, mama had some little banty chickens. She loved them thangs. Well, somebody gave her a bunch of them big ugly white chickens, they was all hens 'cepting for this one ole ugly rooster. Mama was in the kitchen one day and looked out the screen door to see that ole rooster chasing one of her bantys around. She watched 'em run all the way around the house twice. And she got mad 'cause that big ole rooster was picking on her little banty, so when they was coming back around on their third trip when she picked up a 2x2 that was standing by the back door and waited fer 'em to come back by."

"The banty come running by and she drawed back with that stick and when that rooster come by she knocked the far out of it with that 2x2. T'tell the truth she's tryin' to kill it, but all it did was make it turn about three flips. That thang got up thinkin' it'd got hit by a truck and the first thang it seed was that banty chicken standing there lookin' at it."

"It never did bother mama's bantys ater that."

That was not verbatim, but it was as close as my feeble memory can come to it.