When I were a ver' small child

I used to eat cigarette butts. Or so I've been told. I hope it wasn't the filtered ones, although if they were that would explain why I was constipated until about age 23.

Just kidding. About the constipation part at least. The cigarette butts are another story. I also apparently chewed up my grandfather's pipes. Evidently my tobacco fetish started early eh?

When I was a bit older, four or five prehaps, having been weaned off the curse of the great god nick-o'-teen, I developed an odd habit of eating fish sticks.

Odd? Odd in what way one might ask?

Only odd in the fact that I would sneak them from the big chest-freezer and eat them still frozen. Just like popsicles.

Yes indeed, I were a strange child. Which probably explains a great deal about how I became such a strange adult.