Saturday, December 04, 2004

Stories from Skinners 40th B'day party

Food, firearms and a bonfire were involved and I can honestly say that this is the only party I've ever attended where buggy whips were handed out as party favors...

That's only a slight joke. One of the guys there does construction work and he found 40-some odd buggy whips on a jobsite. He had an armload of 'em he was giving away right and left. Now for the truly bizarre part, he found them underneath the floor of a Baptist church he's renovating.

What the hell? Did they beat the sin out of their members?

After everybody finished eating and all the menfolk where standing around in the cold around the bonfire, a fellow I shall call Donald (because that is, after all, his name. He somehow never aquired a nickname) broke out the .22's and a half-brick of shells and there by the light of the bonfire and the headlights of two F-150's, I saw something I've never seen before.

Donald produced a well-sharpened double-bitted axe with a broken handle, stuck it in a log, set two cans on either side of the blade and at 25 yards, on his third shot, in the dark (except for the aforementioned lighting), split a bullet on the axe blade, hitting both cans.

With a .22.

Then Skinner, not to be outdone, did the same thing.


I knew those boys could shoot, but I didn't know they were that good. Pretty soon, half the people there were pulling .22's out of their trucks and making all kinds of rackett. Can you tell we are in the sticks? I think I was the only one there unarmed. If I'd know we were supposed to go heeled, I'd at least have brought a pistol.

Skinner then took a pepsi bottle, loosened the lid to the point it would spin freely, stepped back with his rifle and shot the lid off. He shot it off by nicking the lid and spinning it off the bottle.

Had I not seen this (and the axe trick) with my own eyes, I would have never believed it.

I should've taken a tape recorder with me. There was enough blogging material there for a years worth of posts. But ut for now, I will leave you with a couple of things I overhead...

"Watch out boys, I dunno war the safety is on this thang." That's never a good thing to hear from a redneck...

Who's hands are warm? I gotta take a p*ss. I realize that's rather crass, but I thought it was funny as hell. It was just a wee bit cold out tonight and we'd been out there shooting for an hour or more at the time.

I heard some damn funny stories that I will try to relate if my feeble memory doesn't fail me, but the best one of all has to be the time Donald and his cousin met Ray Stevens at a gas station in Wildwood Georgia...

I'll save that one for tomorrow night.