Sunday, January 30, 2005

Roadkill, sort of

I was at the Gunshop yesterday and we got to talking 'bout roadkill. Toby asked me if I'd ever heard Jeff Foxworthy tell the story about the two yokels that came up to him after a show and told him about them picking up the dead beaver by the side of road which "came alive" when they started trying to skin it.

I've heard Foxworthy tell the story. The beaver jumped up and latched on to one of the guys chest and bit his nipple off. That must of hurt just a little bit.

Toby said he had one better than that.

One of the guys he works with was out deer hunting a couple of years ago and got off a shot at a big old buck with a pretty nice rack on it. The buck fell, so he climbed out of his tree stand to make sure it was dead. Walked up, kicked it. It didn't move. He stood astraddle of it and laid his rifle across its rack. Squatted down and reached around with his knife to slit its throat.

It "came alive" as soon as the knife touched it. The buck lurched to his feet, throwing the guy off his back. Shook its head pretty vigorously in an attempt to dislodge the rifle and then took off for the woods, still carrying the guys rifle. (the sling had gotten wrapped around its antlers)

He followed of course. But alas, his quest was in vain. The buck got clean away. He hunted for it for three days. Never found it, or the rifle.

Now the moral of this story for all you cityfolk out there is that you always need to make sure something's dead before you start trying to cut on it.