Burning holes in my pockets

I received a Lowes gift certificate for Christmas. Now that, my friends, is something useful. The problem lay in how to use it? Should I hold on to it, use it sparingly on small purchases and keep more of my hard earned money? Never! Why would I do a thing like that?

I blew the whole thing today to soften the cash outlay for this contraption. Yes indeed, I bought myself a chainsaw on a stick. And what, pray tell, do I need with such a device? To begin with, I hope to clean off some fence rows, some low-hanging limbs in the pasture(one of which cost me a cab window on the Ferguson three years ago) and some nasty viny sh%t that's hanging over my driveway. I've pondered the best way to get rid of those limbs for a while. Standing in the back of my truck with a chainsaw is one way, but I scared the beejeebus out of DR last year doing that, so after seeing one of the neighbors using a pole-saw a couple of weeks ago I decided this would be a handy implement to have.

The fact that the pole-saw end detaches and you can use it as a heavy-duty weed-eater also helped to sway me. If I can find a brushcutter attachement for it, I'll have my flunkies cleaning fencerows this Summer... if they're broke enough that I can inspire 'em into doing it. If not then I guess I'll tote the heavy-ass thing around.

Getting back to the limb-cutting deal, I wonder if this is my subconscious telling me that if the chain is eight feet away from I can avoid a repetition of previous chainsaw accident, circa 1989, when I tried to cut my hand off? Which, thinking back on all the stoop-id shit I've done over the years, especially with pto shafts, rotary mowers and posthole diggers (three hitch point auger type) it's a blooming wonder I'm still alive and in one piece.

I'm going to try it out tomorrow, hopefully I won't lose any body parts.