Back in the groove

I have been in a piss-poor humor for the past couple of months, which is probably a big part of why I have pretty much quit writing. I am trying to get back into it, but I just can't bring myself to do it. The past four weeks I have been in an even worse humor, because I made the decision to stop a bad habit that I have had for nearly twenty five years. It is not easy. I've just about driven sweetie crazy, but I'm getting better, so maybe I'll make it. I'm thinking if I can go for about three months I'll have it made. We'll see.

There is no way in hell I'd be able to do this if it were not for these stupid nicotine patches. They helped a great deal with the physical part, the mental part is what's driving me nuts now. I have gotten to the point where I can now go to the Stop n' Rob now without having mental arguments with myself about buying a can or two. Hell if nothing else, it helps to tell myself I'm saving over $1500 a year.

Outdoors, working around the barn, driving home from work... always makes me want to reach for a can of Copenhagen or Skoal, but I'm think I'm doing a far job of resisting the urge. I've slipped three times in this past month, but I go right back to staying away from it. It helps that there is only one store in this area that sells my brand (Classic Skoal) and they know I'm trying to quit and won't sell it to me now. I haven't tested 'em on it yet, but the lady that manages the store sent word to me via DR that they won't let me buy any. Knowing that helps more than you'd think.

I look at Dax and count my blessings, Dax has quit smoking, caffiene, his job and went on a 1500 calorie diet all at once. I got to admit, I ain't man enough for that. But I figure if he can do all of that, then surely I can kick a single bad habit?

Anyway, that is enough incoherence for one evening. There will be equipment porn tomorrow night, as I shall be attending Potts Brothers Annual Farm Machinery Auction. TC and I rode over there this evening, there are a few things I'd like to have, but nothing I can't live without. There is an inline square baler I will try to bid on, but who knows what it'll go for.